I want to discuss some confusions about physical love. For one, I have come to realize that how we view sexual acts has a lot to do with the words we use to describe them. Here are some examples:I enjoy making love.
The thought of sex is arousing for me.
I want to f**k ______.
These examples demonstrate the three main terms that we use for sexual intercourse. As you read each one, do you notice that each one resonates differently with you? Do some seem more pleasurable than others? More unpleasant than others?
In my opinion, none of these terms accurately reflect what we are trying to achieve when we have a sexual experience with someone else.
‘Making love’ is a term that is very one sided because it emphasizes the emotional aspect of intercourse. While there’s nothing wrong with intercourse being emotional, it is not purely emotional. The term ‘making love’ makes many men uncomfortable because it has such an emotional connotation.
‘Having sex’ highlights the biological or action aspect of sexual intercourse and the words seem to treat the act as cold and ignores the loving aspect altogether.
‘F**king’ brings to mind the arousal and domination aspect that is involved in sexual intercourse but does not carry with it any ideas of connection and some people find this term degrading to the beauty of sexual acts.
The way I like to phrase sexual acts (including those that do not involve penetration) is ‘loving my partner’ or ‘loving each other’. Example: ‘this morning we woke up and we passionately loved each other’ or ‘I really would enjoy loving you’. I understand that using the term ‘loving’ might seem confusing because it is typically used to describe an emotional connection, but the most powerful sexual experiences are all about showing love for yourself and for your partner.Thanks for reading. If you have any comments, feel free to share.
David
